Welcome to Sync & Thrive. You design everything else together. Why not your health? Every Friday, we share how to move, connect, nourish, and recover as a team. New here? Subscribe.
đ Happy Friday, Ladies and Gents,
âWhen you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you donât blame the lettuce.â
When something isn't growing, whether it's a habit, a goal, or a relationship, it's easy to look for something or someone to blame. But the lettuce was never the problem. It just needed the right conditions, and often that means giving more of what's already helping it grow.
You may notice things look a little different this week.
When Aaron and I started Sync & Thrive, it was because we noticed something we couldn't ignore.
Our health didn't live in separate lanes.
It lived inside our relationship, and every choice one of us made shaped the other. Chances are, the same is true for you. That idea became our four pillars: Movement, Connection, Fuel, and Resilience.
Starting today, every issue walks through all four pillars with things you can bring into your own week: the podcasts and books we're learning from, the recipes we eat on repeat, and the frameworks we're using to stay on the same page. Take what fits your life together and leave the rest.
You'll also notice a new look at the top: Sync & Thrive, living well together. Going forward, you'll hear from us every Friday. We're pausing the Tuesday Reset for now, because we have something in the works for The Couples Lab. Stay tuned.
In the spirit of this week's theme, we looked at what was working and chose to grow it. We'd love to know what you think. Hit reply and tell us whether you like the new format or want the old one back. [We read every response.]
J + A
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Table of Contents
Movement
Working with the limits I have right now
How Iâm building on the movement I still have.
Current working position with my buddy, Charlie.
Day one of PT
Today I start physical therapy. It's my evaluation, where I'll find out what my recovery will look like. The orthopedist gave me a timeline of six to twelve weeks, and I'm treating it as time to rebuild, not time lost.
It's the landing that counts
This week, Aaron and I also had our follow-up with Dr. K, and he pointed out something I hadn't considered. Jumping, and even more the landing, is what builds strength in the muscles and tendons. So once I'm cleared, I'll be adding plyometrics to protect against reinjury and keep my mobility and flexibility.
Whatever happened to the racquet club?
Dr. K also pointed out that in the '70s and '80s, racquet sports and clubs were part of how people lived. This LA Times article from 1986 captures how racquetball was once the hottest recreational sport in America, until the aerobics and bodybuilding boom took its place.
The gym gave us strength and flexibility in how we train. But we lost something too: movement that came with people and play built in.
The sports linked to a longer life
A 25-year Danish study of 8,577 adults compared the life expectancy associated with different sports against being sedentary:
Tennis: 9.7 more years
Badminton: 6.2 more years
Soccer: 4.7 more years
Calisthenics: 3.1 more years
Gym workouts: 1.5 more years
What the top three have in common: each one needs another person. One of the researchers said the most important part of an exercise routine may be that it involves a play-date.
We need more play and a little competition
I'll be honest, these numbers surprised me. I hadn't come across them in my own research, and the conversation with Dr. K opened my eyes.
Aaron and I have lost some of the play in how we move. We get out for pickleball now and then, but mostly we've been set on the gym and walking. But games give you something the gym doesn't: fun, a little healthy competition, and other people.
I believe that competitive edge matters more than we give it credit for. It keeps our drive sharp, and when you're building a business together, that drive has to come from somewhere. It's no wonder pickleball and padel have the following they do.
We've been bringing in more fun and adventure by exploring our own backyard, but I think we can do better.
The gym isn't a cure-all
The gym has its place, but this injury made it clear that I need more mobility work and calisthenics in my routine.
Our friend Chad, a former personal trainer, reminded us literally a month ago to focus on calisthenics. âA day or two in the gym is great, but calisthenics is what keeps you from getting injured.â I thought about that right after I got hurt.
Dang it, Chad.
đž Try it together: Pick one active thing you can play instead of train, like pickleball, padel, or a tennis lesson. Bring the fun, bring a little competition, and bring your partner.
Connection
Bring the casserole
How we're taking connection beyond our own four walls.
This week I came across [a post from chef Chadwick Boyd] about how people used to show up for each other. When someone had a baby, lost a parent, or got sick, neighbors brought dinner. Nobody called it a strategy for connection. They just called it helping.
As he put it, "The point was never the casserole. It was the gesture."
I've been on the receiving end of that lately.
Aaron has been cooking our meals and keeping the house running while I heal, and our friends have been so sweet, bringing meals, flowers, chocolates, books, and puzzles. That mentality of showing up starts at home, in the small ways we care for each other every day, and branches out from there.
When we fill someone else's cup, we fill our own.
Try it together: Think of one person who's carrying a lot right now, and show up for them this week. Drop off a meal, run an errand, or just stop by.
Fuel
Defining yourself by what you have
The numbers are a work in progress. The way we think about them isn't.
Four signs money is running your life
This week, the most useful thing we took in wasn't on a plate. It was a post from Joe Hudson naming four signs that money is running your life:
You feel shame for not having enough.
You think having more will make you better.
You think more will finally make you safe.
You secretly judge people with more or less.
The one that hits home
For me, it's number three: thinking more will finally make me safe.
Growing up my family struggled financially. We were a blended family, my stepdad was paying child support for his daughter, he was just starting out in construction where the pay wasn't great, and there were four or five of us to feed. When you grow up that way, you learn early that money means safety, and that feeling doesn't go away just because your circumstances change.
Iâve had to make adjustments to how I think about money. Yes, money does provide a measure of security, but it isn't everything. You can be rich in a lot of other things that bring far more joy and satisfaction.
I think the real question is: what are you willing to live without, and still find things to be happy about?
Or flip the question
Hudson takes it a step further: define yourself by what you have, not by what you lack. So instead of asking, "What's wrong and how do I fix it?" ask, "What's right and how do I grow it?"
When you stop looking at yourself through what's missing, you can finally see what's working, and that's what you build on.
Good eating habits rub off
That question works in the kitchen too. In a study of more than 5,000 couples, eating habits matched more closely than any other heart health factor. And when one partner ate well, the odds that the other did too were more than 10 times higher. So what's working in your kitchen isn't just helping you. It's helping both of you.
On Our Table: The breakfast we eat on repeat
Our high protein frittata
For us, I make sure we start off with a good breakfast. Our egg frittata is the one we come back to again and again. The base stays the same (eggs, cottage cheese, and our go-to spices), and the vegetables change with whatever we have on hand. It's easy, it's tasty, and it never gets old, because we keep what works and change one thing.
Veggie Frittata for Two
Ingredients
5 eggs (for more protein, add Πcup egg whites)
œ cup low-fat cottage cheese
œ tsp Italian seasoning
Πtsp garlic powder
Black pepper and a pinch of salt, to taste
1 tbsp olive oil
Veggies for rotation: 1 cup fresh spinach, œ cup grape tomatoes, Œ onion, and œ bell pepper (or include all of them)
Instructions
Dice your veggies and halve the grape tomatoes, if using.
In a bowl, mix the eggs, cottage cheese, and spices.
Heat a 10-inch nonstick pan over medium heat. Add the olive oil and veggies, and sauté until tender but still crisp.
If using grape tomatoes, press them with a fork once they're hot and blistered to release their juices.
Pour in the egg mixture, turn the heat to low, and cover for 5 minutes.
With a silicone spatula, scrape the sides and let the uncooked egg fill in. Gently stir the center so the wet mixture cooks through, then flatten it so it sets evenly.
Cover and cook for another 5 to 7 minutes, until the center is set. Turn off the heat and let it rest for 1 minute.
Run the spatula around the edges to loosen it, then slide it onto a cutting board or plate and slice.
đœïž Try it together: Pick the healthy meal you both already love, keep the base, and change one ingredient this week. Let whoever usually doesn't plan meals choose the swap.
Resilience
Stress doesnât stay in your head
How I'm getting ahead of stress before it shows up in my body.
Photo credit: Innerspace Imaging / Science Source / A bundle of neurons in the gastrointestinal tract. Neural signals passed down from the brain, reflecting âmemoriesâ of past immune responses, can trigger new localized bouts of inflammation in the gut, according to new research. (Quanta Magazine)
What caught my attention
This week I came across a clip from Andrew Huberman's conversation with immunologist Dr. Max Krummel, and one idea stuck with me: our bodies may remember more than we think. According to Krummel, there's emerging evidence that emotionally charged moments, the great ones and the painful ones, can bring back the same immune response we had at the time.
Most of us know what it's like to replay a hard moment and feel it in our chest all over again. What's new is the possibility that our immune system replays it too. In one study, researchers found that the brains of mice stored a record of inflammation in the body, and when those brain cells were reactivated, the inflammation came back.
It's not just memories
How we feel right now affects our health, and the health of the people we love.
Stress makes you more likely to get sick. In a study of 394 healthy people exposed to a cold virus, the more stressed they were, the more likely they were to come down with a cold.
Conflict slows healing. In a study of 42 married couples, small wounds healed more slowly after an argument than after a supportive conversation. Couples who were consistently hostile healed at 60% of the rate of couples who weren't.
How I'm getting ahead of it
If my body replays the big moments, I want to give it more good ones. Right now, I'm doing two things. First, I'm focusing only on what I can control. Second, I'm drawing and painting. It gives my mind somewhere else to go, and it brings me peace and satisfaction. I come away calmer and happier.
Personalized thank you cards I made
Try it together: Ask each other, "What's your go-to way to unwind after a rough day?" Then, when one of you has one, make room for it that night, like an early bedtime or a 15-minute walk after dinner.
đ One final thoughtâŠ
What's one thing you're already doing right together, and what's one small way you could grow it this week?
You don't need more. You need to notice what's already working, and give it your attention.
With care,
đ Jaylene & Aaron, Sync & Thrive Team
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P.S. If you're new here, welcome. đ We're glad you found us. Everything we write is designed to help you and your partner build your health together, on your terms. The best place to start is with the Sync Quizâą.
P.P.S. If thereâs a dynamic in your relationship youâd like us to explore, send us a note at [email protected]. Many of our best topics start with reader conversations.
đïž Most of what we write about lives inside four everyday areas of life together: how we move, eat, connect, and reset.
